The Hero We Need and Deserve

In the recent AMA (Ask Me Anything, a sub forum on the Internet platform Reddit) with the actor and former professional football player Terry Crews, someone asked him how to become motivated enough to train and workout everyday. His response was awesome.

“TREAT THE GYM LIKE A SPA.
Yes. It has to feel good. I tell people this a lot - go to the gym, and just sit there, and read a magazine, and then go home. And do this every day
Go to the gym, don’t even work out. Just GO. Because the habit of going to the gym is more important than the work out.
Because it doesn’t matter what you do. You can have fun - but as long as you’re having fun, you continue to do it.
But what happens is you get a trainer, your whole body is sore, you can’t feel your legs, and you’re not coming back the next day - you might not come back for a year!
I worked my way up to 2 hours a day. I ENJOY my workouts. They are my peace, my joy - I get my whole head together! I value that time more than my shower. And it really gets me together. But it’s a habit.
There are times when - I’m not even kidding - there are times when I’m in the middle of a work out, and actually woke up because I am so engrained with going to the gym and being there - it’s that much of a habit to me. The first thing I do in the morning is work out - I lay out my workout clothes the night before, and just hop in’em.
So lay out your clothes, and go to the gym, and relax.
HaAHAHAH!
But sooner or later, you WILL work out.” Source

Simply put: Terry Crews is right. He didn’t try to sculpt his body AND practice his new habit. He was wise enough to know that it’s easier to learn one new thing (the habit of going to the gym) and only AFTERWARDS start learning the next new thing (actually training at the gym).

And because he didn’t see the two things as one, he was setting himself up to succeed. Because even with a sprained wrist he could still go to the gym and practice his habit. And it was okay if he didn’t train once he was at the gym. So he made sure the gym would never become a place of anguish and disappointment. Because consciously or unconsciously he understood that one can only change by feeling good. Repeat after me: One can only change by feeling good.

Think about it: What do we gravitate to? Hobbies.

The things which make us feel good about ourselves either because we excel at them or we take so much pleasure in doing them that we don’t mind failing. That’s the whole reason sex is so wildly popular.

At least that’s what people are telling me.

So Terry Crews is a hella smart guy and we will try to use a similar approach. Not the same because we are not Terry Crews and what works for him might not work for us. But we will take the principles he used and adapt them to our needs.

And as it turns out: Science backs him up too!

Small and steady gets you ready

As I am writing this chapter several things are happening:

1. Self-doubt

Well that’s it. That’s the whole list. But believe you me: My self-doubt IS several things.

But instead of listening to my self-doubt I am employing the Tiny Habits Method of BJ Fogg which is basically what Terry Crews did. Only BJ Fogg is the founder of the Behavior Design Lab at Stanford. Oh, and did I mention he has a PhD?

And his book Tiny Habits is a fantastic, eye-opening read. And I mean the good kind of eye-opening. The kind that convinced me to start using his strategies to write this chapter.

So what’s happening as I am writing this chapter? My phone is ticking down time from 25 Minutes to zero and when the time runs out I can stop writing if I want to.

And I don’t even HAVE to write during the 25 minutes. I just have to sit in front of my computer with the document open. That’s it. I can write if I want to and normally I do because it’s better than just staring at a computer screen. But there were days were I was looking out of the windows and simply thought about the chapter. Or not even about the chapter but just, you know, life.

And sometimes I do stop writing after the 25 minutes. But, and you guessed it, most of the time I continue because I’m already in the thick of it and I think to myself: Let me just finish this part!

But that’s not all: I have my own version of a gym. I’m lucky enough to have a little office space and my writing habit to write this book is as follows:

As soon as I sit down at the desk in my office I start my computer, open the file on my desktop that links to my current chapter and then… I celebrate. By doing a fist pump in the air.

Because I did my habit. And we remember: We only change by feeling good. So in order to feel good I celebrate the tiniest steps I take in the right direction. Like a parent cheerleading their baby when it first starts to… well, take steps.

After I celebrate I hit the timer (which is NOT on my phone because my phone could distract me) which already is set to 25 minutes and celebrate again. And after I have successfully sat there for my allotted time (and maybe written something) I celebrate once more.

Because I’m worth it!

And to make things even stranger: When I first started applying what “Tiny Habits” teaches I only practiced my habit. I didn’t even write anything afterwards.

I simply entered my office, sat at my desk, started the computer, opened my word processor and celebrated. Then I closed the document, closed my laptop, and left the office only to immediately do all of that again. Seven times in a row. In order to ingrain the habit even faster.

And my habit is not set in stone. I started out trying to do 50 minutes on my timer but as it turns out it made the habit too hard for me. I would find excuses (running errands, cleaning the bath, etc.) to not having to go into the office in the morning.

So I sat down again and redesigned my habit. I tweaked the length. I tried 40 minutes. Then 30 minutes and eventually settled on my good old friend, the Pomodoro with its trusty 25 minutes.More about the Pomodoro Technique in the next chapter.

One key thing I haven’t explained yet: The anchor. I coupled my desired habit (writing) with something I was already doing everyday: Going to the office and sitting down at my desk. But before I used to potter around a little bit, clean my desk, maybe get up immediately again to make myself a coffee or sitting there checking my to do list and trying to choose with what I would start my day.

Not so anymore: Now I know exactly what I need to do: Sit down, start the computer, open the document, celebrate, start the timer, celebrate and after 25 minutes celebrate again. And you know what? For me it’s the perfect way to start the day. Because afterwards I feel good. I can see my book growing daily. Maybe it’s not much everyday but it is everyday. And as it turns out: A little bit every day is a LOT more than writing nothing at all.

And even if I don’t write during my Pomodoro I have 25 minutes all to myself. To ponder lifes biggest questions. To think about what I need to do during the day. But even on the days I don’t want to write after ten minutes lifes biggest questions start to bore me and I start writing for the remaining fifteen minutes. Or ten minutes. Or five minutes. And sometimes I keep writing and still get to my 25 minutes. Or an hour. Either way: I am the winner if I just sit down, open my computer and click on one file. And celebrate.

The Tiny Habit Recipe

The Tiny Habit recipe by BJ Fogg is simple but powerful.

1. Find an anchor aka something you already do daily as a habit. (Showering, making coffee, washing your hands, sitting down at your desk, etc.)

2. Immediately after the anchor you do your tiny habit.

3. Celebrate.

An in order to make it stick faster, practice the habit in rapid succession seven to ten times. That’s it. But remember to start really small. At the beginning it’s not really about writing a lot or even writing a little.

It’s all about practicing your habit so the writing routine will be something you’ll do without thinking.

It’s all about reducing the resistance one feels when it comes to creating something.

For this example I will use the suggestion of sitting down, opening your notebook, celebrate, keep sitting for five minutes and then celebrate. If you want to write during the five minuets that’s okay. But remember: The whole procedure before that is the ENDgoal. Not the writing.

Now it’s your time to think: Where in your day could a writing habit fit? (Keep in mind that it should be a time in your day where you can write longer than five minutes if you want to.)

Is it right after your daily shower in the evening?

Or maybe when you’ve finished doing the dishes?

Or maybe when you are brewing your coffee?

The Bialetti Method

A colleague of mine uses something he calls the Bialettimethod. The first thing in the morning he does is make himself a cup of coffee with his beloved Bialetti coffeemaker. And as soon as the Bialetti is on the stove he starts writing in his journal. When the coffee is done being brewed he has done his task. He allows himself to stop writing if he wants to without any hard feelings or he can continue if he feels like it.

Either way he starts off his day as a success.

SUMMARY TIME

Summarize the chapter in your own words in only five sentences!

THE ONE THING

Write down THE ONE THING which was most useful to you from the chapter.

Then think about one way you can incorporate THE ONE THING in your comedy writing right now. WRITE! IT! DOWN!

EXERCISE TIME

Okay, maybe you have already done it. Then I’m immensely proud of you. But maybe you haven’t because you wanted to finish this chapter before doing it. Also immensely proud of you. Now that just means you can do it right now: Think once more about where your writing habit could fit into.

Done? Good.

Now go and practice it seven times. The book will still be here after you have finished.